How to find your cancer support network, and use it to your advantage.
Cancer sucks. It is alienating, and scary, and makes you want to shut out the world, but is something that no one should have to go through alone. Caring for yourself both physically and emotionally is an important part of treatment, and lining up your resources will help immensely in navigating the experience.
Number one rule: friends and family cannot be expected to do it all. It is true, they love you, but they are also dealing with their own issues and stresses related to you having the disease. Partners, parents, and friends sometimes need a break, and so do you.
Without leaning on the closest shoulder, where do you turn for help? If you haven’t been given a list of resources, a stack of information pamphlets, and the telephone number of the nearest cancer support line, ask for them. There is likely a network of channels set up in your area to help, including: mental health professionals, support groups, information sessions, and toll-free lines available 24-hours to listen, field concerns, and be there when you are ready to curl up in a ball (telephones are fabulous for those days where your pajamas are the only style choice you are able to make).
The Therapist
Most cancer hospitals have a dedicated psychiatrist or psychologist on staff. Ask your oncologist, surgeon, nurse, or even the desk-clerk who this person is. Ask for the business card and file it in your “cancer binder” - if you haven’t assembled a cancer binder yet, this can be your first page (I will be writing an article soon about the “cancer binder” and the importance of it). Even if you don’t make an appointment with this therapist right now, you may need to later, so it never hurts to have the information handy.
The Support Group
The support group is a fantastic, but not-for-everyone kind of thing. Some people prefer the one-on-one option afforded by a therapist, but others would rather talk it out with a group. If you fall into the latter category, the support group is for you. Group sessions are offered by cancer hospitals, cancer societies, and community-based organizations, and cover a wide range of topics, catering to various demographics. A quick research project uncovered groups like “Women with Breast Cancer”, “Living with Cancer”, “Young Women with Breast Cancer”, and “Cancer Connection” – this is only a cursory glance.
The Workshop
A classroom setting is perfect for those who want to listen, gather information, and ask questions. Again, these types of sessions are often available through hospitals and community programs, and cover a variety of topics. From dealing with surgery, chemotherapy and radiation to sessions on beauty and make-up, workshops are an easy and stress-free way to stay informed.
The Toll-Free Number
The telephone is one of the most useful tools at your disposal when you have cancer. You don’t have to get out of bed, get dressed, shower, primp or shave to use the phone – convenient and practical! In Canada, Cancer Connection - run through the Canadian Cancer Society – can be reached at 1-888-939-3333. In the US you can find your local support network through the American Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345.
Start now! Assemble what you need at your disposal to fortify yourself -and those around you - to go into battle. Taking ‘no” for an answer is NOT an option – keep digging and asking until you get the answers to your questions and concerns (no matter how unimportant or minor they seem). Only you understand what you need, so arm yourself and take charge of your health, your treatment, and your recovery.
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