Death from cancer or any terminal illness is normally preceded by certain physical changes. Knowing what to look for, helps loved ones to cope with the process.
When a terminally ill person nears the point of death, a number of physical changes take place. Understanding this process helps to calm fears and assuage anxiety.
Different Pace
A sudden decline in health may herald the beginning of the end. This decline is often marked by damage or failure in parts of the body.
Distance
Death is the instant that a person leaves this world and moves into the next. When a person has a terminal sickness, death is often preceded by a stage of separation from the physical world and closeness to the spiritual world. This separation may be seen by a lack of desire to indulge in worldly pastimes and an interest in planning a memorial service and setting affairs in order.
Sleep
Sleep begins to take up more and more time. At first a familiar voice will rouse the person but eventually it may seem they are unconscious. Dreams and visions of God and heaven are common at this stage. Even if the person is unresponsive, keep communicating, touching and expressing love.
Appetite
As body systems shut down, food becomes less important. Instead of forcing the issue, offer cool, juicy foods such as ice cream, yoghurt, jell-o and fruit smoothies.
Energy
As death approaches the person may have a decreased response to the world. Occasionally there may be a final burst of energy but this is usually short-lived.
Skin
A whole range of skin changes can occur as the body shuts down. It may become clammy or flushed, turn grey/blue in color or develop blotchy patches.
Circulation and Blood Pressure
Pulse and blood pressure can become erratic during the last few days. This can cause emotional side-effects and the patient may have outbursts of anger and grief. Don’t take these personally.
Body Systems
Digestion and elimination are among the first to cease. The body may prepare for death by a profuse amount of elimination. If the heart is struggling to pump properly, it can result in swelling of the extremities or in the lungs. Suction can ease the breathing in this case. Shaking is a common effect of the systems shutting down and the best treatment is to hold the person close.
Eyes
When a person is dying, the eyes may remain open and seem to become glassy and stare. It may appear that the loved one sees something in the distance and may even reach out towards this vision. When the eyes are glassy and fixed, death normally occurs within hours.
Hearing and Touch
Hearing normally remains intact to the end so use touch and talk as the end draws near. Even if the person is unable to respond, the contact will be of great comfort.
Breathing
As death approaches, the breathing rate will slow drastically with breaths being far apart. While the breathing is quiet and gentle, death is normally not imminent. As death does approach, breathing may become labored with the person gasping for air. A low throaty gurgling is common and is often referred to as the death rattle. These breaths will slow and come further and further apart until the final breath is taken
Death is something common to all mankind, but not something that most people are familiar with. If a loved one has a terminal disease, it can bring comfort and strength to the family to understand the final stages they are likely to pass through. It will also enable them to support the loved one in the best way possible.
Recommended reading: May I walk you Home by Melody Rossi, Bethany House Publishers, 2007
The copyright of the article Physical Changes before Death in Cancer is owned by Debbie Roome. Permission to republish Physical Changes before Death in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
It's too late now, but I wish I had known about the eyes staying open and
being glassy. My husband recently died and that was the one thing I had
never heard of. It was scary to see him asleep with his eyes half open and
just staring at nothing. Even after death, the nurses could not close his
eyes.
Aug 29, 2008 5:14 PM
Guest :
Thank you so much for explaining the signs of dying. It helped me so much
to keep in my mind. My grandmother is getting to her final stages and is
dying from Bile Duct Cancer. Again Thank You!
Allison G.
Sep 10, 2008 5:40 PM
Guest :
Thank you SO much for this article. My father is dying and I have been
following my intuition to guide my actions. It is most reassuring to know
that my instincts have been on target. I feel less alone now.
Sep 25, 2008 5:11 PM
Guest :
I am about to lose my father in law and i believe i will be sitting with
him through alot of it and at least now i know what to look for to make
sure the whole family is there when the end comes.
Nov 11, 2008 11:23 PM
Guest :
My darling dad died 3 months ago from terminal lung cancer. I spent the
last day and night by his side at home. He showed all these signs - the
glassy eyes staring into space, restlessness during the night and pointing
at something I could not see, pulling and plucking at his clothes. He went
to the loo leads of times and his urine was very dark, almost brown. The
worst for me was the agitation, pacing and delirium during that last night.
I felt helpless and he was crying out "Help me, pull this pain out of
me". Mum and I stroked him and calmed him down until he fell
asleep. I am so glad we did this - gently stroking and kissing a dying
person is very calming for them. He died two hours later. He was asleep,
snoring away (which I now realise was the death rattle) and then just
stopped breathing, breathed in and out very slowly twice, and then died. I
knew he was dead because his eyes turned to glass and stared into space.
When I touched the lids there was no reflex. Despite the agitation two
hours earlier, the end was very peaceful for him, but a complete shock to
us. I had never seen anyone die and did not realise he was so close, but I
know what to expect now. I am so glad mum and I were able to reassure and
stroke him and let him know we were there by his side right up until the
end. We could not have done any more.
Nov 24, 2008 8:04 AM
Guest :
My dad is dying at the moment but he is fighting it so much. The signs you
describe I have seen. I had to come back home but I was with my dad
Thursday night, Friday through the night Saturday and Sunday. When we saw
him Sunday morning we thought it was time. The colour had gone from his
body, he felt so cold. The noise in his breathing. My brother and I just
held his hands as he lay in hospital he was so cold yet the room was hot.
We said its ok dad we are here now you go if you want. But even though he
stopped breathing about 3 times, he is still with us. By 3.30pm the colour
was back in his body and he was warm. Its like knowing we were there made
him stay. Its now 16:00 on Monday and dad is still with us, strong and
stubborn to the very end. (My dad is 73yrs and has Pick's Disease, a very
cruel illness).
Dec 3, 2008 7:14 PM
Guest :
I had never been with a dying person until my dad passed this past summer.
It's god to know that our experience was a normal one. Thank you.
Jan 1, 2009 6:40 PM
Guest :
Has anyone ever heard of someone's eyes turning BLUE (when they were dark
brown/green) before death? A friend just lost her husband to lung cancer,
and several family members noticed the man's eyes had changed color, just
before his death.
Jan 6, 2009 11:38 AM
Guest :
the information you give has been very helpful.my step-fathers been my only
experience with cancer.its the hardest thing ive ever had to deal with.i
just wish that there were a way to make this easier for my family.would
anyone have any advice for getting through this?
Jan 17, 2009 1:44 AM
Guest :
to the person who asked if their loved one had a change of color--the
answer is yes. My mother had brown eyes and the day she died (January 10th,
2009), I noticed that her eyes were BLUE. I was very surprised.
Jan 28, 2009 11:56 PM
Guest :
My mother is in the final stages of death suffering from colon cancer...the
agitation she experiences is hardest for me, she lashes out at me and the
nurses and tries to remove her tubes...she has always been a passive
person, so this is out of character for her...I noticed yesterday that her
eyes are turning blue...what causes this?...We have talked to her and let
her know it was ok to go home to God, but she seems to be fighting to stay
for some reason...Thank you all for sharing, it is helpful to read your
post as my sister is in denial that mom is dying and I cannot talk to her
about the process or my feelings...
Feb 5, 2009 11:41 AM
Guest :
My mother-in-law is in the process of dying. This article helped me very
much. Her feet are very cool to the touch and I will be looking for other
signs you mentioned. She has Lewy-Bodies disease and it has been a long
hard disease. Thanks again for this article.
M.K Osborne
Feb 9, 2009 5:27 PM
Guest :
I am grieving for my Mum and I have n't lost her yet. My wonderful,
caring, special Mum is dying from liver cancer. I can't believe I have just
typed that. We are all devastated particulary because my Mum underwent
a massive operation to remove a tumour in her Oesophagos. Mums ribs were
broken, her lung deflated, half her Oesophagos and a third of her stomach
were removed and the rest of her stomach is now in her chest cavity. All
this, for the cancer to come back in her liver less than a year later. Mum
has been through so much and I am afraid for what she is about to
endure. I pray that Mum will not be in any pain and that the end will
come peacefully and quickly for her. Mums body is already shutting
down from what I have read on this site so far. Her skin is very cool and
clammy to the touch even though the room is warm. Mum does n't want to eat
at all and I feel she only participates for our sake. Mum is painfully
thin. Her weight loss has been dramatic over the past twelve months - as
expected. I don't feel I could ever say a final goodbye to Mum. I know
I will have to do this for my Mums sake. But how do I give permission for
Mum to go when I don't know how to live without her in my life? I love
my Mum so much and will always be grateful of the life she gave me and my
four siblings. She taught me how to live life to the full. Never to bear
grudges but to forgive. How to help others and not to expect too much from
people. Everything good in me is down to my wonderful Mum (and my Dad)I
could go on and on but most of all Mum told me how to love and be loved and
ironically this is what is tearing me up inside. It is unbearable for me
and yet the end is coming faster than I can cope with. I have never
felt so alone and feel like I am the only one who is in pain. Everyone else
is coping far better and seems far more excepting. My Dad is very emotional
too but strong at the same time and is caring for my Mum at home. I too
will stay every night when the time comes. I know I should be grateful
for the 40 years that I have had my Mum in my life but I still feel cheated
out of 20 years or so. My Nan is still alive at 87 years old and I presumed
that we would all live happy, healthy, long lives too. I was wrong. One of
the most precious people in my life is about to be taken from me and I am
unable to do anything about it! Cherish those closest to you and let
them know how much they mean to you. My Mum knows this.xx
Feb 12, 2009 2:26 PM
Guest :
I noticed that the eyes of both my father and brother, changed from dark
blue to a very light blue about a week before they died.
Feb 20, 2009 6:11 AM
Guest :
Thank you very much for explaining the signs of dying. My mother's husband
is at the moment dying of brain cancer. He is in last days, if not hours. I
translated the article into Czech language few minutes ago( my mom lives in
Czech Republic) and my mom found it extremely helpful...so did I. He is
showing over 90% of the signs you have described i the article. My mom is
absolutely wonderful to him...she is so brave but so scared. Thank you
again! Bohdana
Feb 23, 2009 11:54 AM
Guest :
My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer 6 months ago and it has been
a downward spiral ever since. The hospice nurses visited today and gave an
estimation of less than a week left for my grandmother. I have sat by her
side and noticed and experienced all the signs. She is now on pure
morphine drips every 2 hours to keep her as comfortable as possible. Part
of me knows that its the morphine is creating the hallucinations but she
has told me that her angels are at the foot of her bed-waiting; not saying
a word. She has also heard god's voice telling her everything is going to
be ok. Thankfully now after reading this and some others comments I feel a
little bit my relieved... I thought I was trying to believe in the
hallucinations for the sake of believing but now that I know its not just
my grandmother who has experienced these things; I don't feel so
crazy...
Feb 25, 2009 8:14 AM
Guest :
Like your last commenter, I wish I had found this information before my
husband passed away, it would have helped to know how close he was to death
and I didn't know about the eyes remaining open and glassy and the
breathing - the medical staff just referred to secretions in his bronchil
tubes I wished I had known it was the "death rattle" I just hope
he knew I was with him at the end.
Mar 13, 2009 1:25 AM
Guest :
My husband passed away on 3/7/09 at the age of 55 from natural causes due
to lung cancer. He was very much in the game yet. We knew he was going to
die at some point but I did think we had a lot more time. He was
complaining of some pain in his elbow. He did take some tylenol and a pain
pill but was still very restless and uncomfortable. I had him take an
anxiety pill to help releive him of stress hoping the pain medication would
take effect. It was early in the morning and he came back to bed, we were
talking, our kitties were running around on top of us, he seemed to relax
and settle down and we both drifted back off to sleep. About 15 minutes
later he let out a loud moan and a couple of gasps of air and he was gone.
His eyes were not focused, I was yelling his name telling him to squeeze my
hand but his whole body was limp. He did have a DNR bracelet and standing
order but this was not what I had prepared for. I thought he would slowly
decline but that was not the case - he was on his 5th different chemo and
was still in the fight. I am thankful he went quickly and with dignity but
as I said before this is not what I was prepared for.
Mar 16, 2009 11:56 PM
Guest :
Unless a person is born again they will not see the kingdom of God. It is
written in John 3:3 Holy Bible. I am a born again Christian. I know my
saviour Jesus Christ will be taking my soul to heaven. If a person dies in
their unsaved condition they will go to hell where there will be weeping
and gnashing of teeth. It is written. Just the flesh dies but the soul
lives forever. Hell is a place of torment and punishment for the unsaved.
But God does not wish for us to go to hell. He sent us a saviour, His one
and only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. Deeath does not have to be forever.
You and your families can know where you are all going. When a born again
Christian dies we all know that person is with Jesus after they pass on and
we don't mourn long. We know what our eternity will be. You can too. Choose
Jesus for salvation and everlasting life. www.jesus-is-savior.com
Mar 16, 2009 11:58 PM
Guest :
Seek salvation through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. www.jesus-is-savior.com
Apr 17, 2009 2:09 PM
Guest :
God knows each person's heart, and it is not up to us to determine if
someone is going to heaven or hell. I know a lot of so called Christians
that do not act Christ like. My father is dying of lung cancer. I stayed
with him for a month, but had to go back home because I have my family to
take care of. He is under hospice care, and they will let me know two
weeks ahead when they think he might pass. I will get on the first plane
when I get that phone call. He is presently bed-ridden, in diapers, not
eating very much, and is sleeping most of the time. I talked with him a
week ago, and he told me that the end is near. He never said he was a
Christian, but he led a good and honest life, and I can't imagine that God
would let him suffer in hell. I am not looking forward to that phone call,
but I know it will come. I went through this eight years ago with my
mother, and she was so afraid to leave my father. He has been heart-broken
since her death, and now he is experiencing the same pain that she did. I
hope he does not experience pain and that his passing is quick.
Apr 17, 2009 2:11 PM
Guest :
God knows each person's heart, and it is not up to us to determine if
someone is going to heaven or hell. I know a lot of so called Christians
that do not act Christ like. My father is dying of lung cancer. I stayed
with him for a month, but had to go back home because I have my family to
take care of. He is under hospice care, and they will let me know two
weeks ahead when they think he might pass. I will get on the first plane
when I get that phone call. He is presently bed-ridden, in diapers, not
eating very much, and is sleeping most of the time. I talked with him a
week ago, and he told me that the end is near. He never said he was a
Christian, but he led a good and honest life, and I can't imagine that God
would let him suffer in hell. I am not looking forward to that phone call,
but I know it will come. I went through this eight years ago with my
mother, and she was so afraid to leave my father. He has been heart-broken
since her death, and now he is experiencing the same pain that she did. I
hope he does not experience pain and that his passing is quick.
Apr 21, 2009 8:45 AM
Guest :
Thank you so much for this article. My mum in law passed away on
27.03.2009 with alzeihmers and i wish that man finds a cure for this
dreadful disease soon. My father in law is in his final stages of prostate
cancer. he has stopped eating and he is angry at times. he is taking liquid
morphine and seems to be delirious at times I pray for all those caregivers
who are experiencing a near death situation and may god make it easy on the
patients. Tahnk u so much for your information.
Apr 26, 2009 8:31 AM
Guest :
I am caring for my mum now, in her final days. She has CLL (leukaemia) ,
where we have been told it’s just a matter of days (that was three weeks
ago). I find myself searching the internet for information with regard to
the last stages just so that I am not shocked when they happen. Mum is
either in a state of restlessness or asleep. She tries to talk but
instead of a conversation she repeats everything until I hold her hand and
calm her down. Her breathing is very laboured. Her fluid intake is
reduced but her appetite is good. I myself have had all ranges of
emotions.
May 8, 2009 2:35 PM
Guest :
Wow, my dad is showing signs of everything that was mentioned. This was a
great help and it eased my mind. It is nice to have a heads up that I
should brace myself for the end. Thank you and God Bless.
May 19, 2009 7:07 AM
Guest :
From what i have read here I know now that the end is near for my dad. He
has lung cancer and cirrhosis of the liver. We have been with him everyday
taking shifts my 3 sisters and I so he won't be alone. But now it is
getting harder for him to breath, the rattling has begun. He is
non-responsive and blood pressure is 60/40. I don't know how much longer we
have with him but something tells me not too much longer.
May 22, 2009 4:27 PM
Guest :
My lovely daughter age twenty eight is starting to show signs. She is
already an Angel to me. She has Cerebral Palsy with seizures and her mind
age is about a three year old level. She can't seem to get rid of this
Pneumonia that developed. She can no longer eat solid foods and is on the
last milk substitute that the Doctor can give her and even this is not
doing much good. The doctors give her only a short while. I tell her over
and over how much I love her but it is so hard to have to say that final
goodbye. She is now getting Morphine for her pain as she hurts so much. She
just looks at me and you see the tears in her eyes. She can no longer talk
but I hold her close to me hoping I don't show my pain to her. I know I
have to be brave for her but it is hard when your heart is breaking.
Jun 14, 2009 7:36 AM
Guest :
thank you very much for this i am a nursing student doing palliative care
at the moment i also work in a nursing home and i myself have experienced
death at first hand, i want to thank you as i now can provide the care that
person needs and very much deserve, so thank you again, as mentioned i have
lost people that are dear to me and it is always hard to say good-bye when
they are ready to leave this earth but when others are not.
Jun 19, 2009 2:56 PM
Guest :
I agree that we should be born again. The bible is truth, and it states
that only through Jesus Christ we will see the kingdom of heaven. It is
very important to know Jesus Christ, since it is not safe to die unless we
know him first. We should be prepared always for death, by knowing our
Jesus Christ.
Jun 26, 2009 11:09 AM
Guest :
It is truely an awful ordeal to see a loved one go threw agony and pain.
One aunt died in the hospital begging for pain medicine. The other just
passed away with Hospice. They allowed her to die peacefully without pain
or suffering. Now we are looking at my mother in law to pass with in the
next two monthes. Just trying to keep her comfortable and not show that it
saddens me to see her progressing along. Hospice has been wonderful to our
family and I encourage others to seek it out.
Jul 2, 2009 10:04 PM
Guest :
My brother's heart is functioning at 15%, they say he is at the end of his
life it could be days or a couple of weeks. He is weak and gets very pale,
white when he sits up. What can we look for, how can he be made
comfortable?
Jul 17, 2009 10:42 PM
Guest :
I had been diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma in 1983, at this time I am
52 years old.I have had many surgeries,radiation, chemotheraphy [torisol]
which has kept my cancer at bay... Now I have reached end stage... reading
all of the coments really touched me overwhelmingly, the love and heartache
each of you felt...I have lived from a very unusual point of view. Each day
I've let all that I love, know so, things that normally would anger you,
just sort of leave you feeling., well , so in charge, because with your
knowledge life can be so short, makes you observe emotions so
differently...and argue less and communicate more.Leaving will be hard and
sad. But I want all who have cared for me [even my Doctors] to know ,how I
love and appreciate every moment I have had here...I will not be afraid at
the end , only sorry I will not look upon my husband, daughter and sons
face agin. My granddaughter Nelly will not remember how happy she has made
me ...I am so proud to have lived and shared my life withall who have
wandered into mine...Yes it will be sad, but It HAS been a wonderful
life....Remember to love and live each moment like it could be your
last......Gloria
Jul 20, 2009 4:41 PM
Guest :
he my name is boe and my mum had a blood clot in her lung im only 14 and it
was hard but we got throw it we all thourt she was going to die and it was
hard o me beacuse she is the madest mum ever .......
Jul 26, 2009 1:32 PM
Guest :
I am so glad that i found this website. My dad was diagnosed with cancer
and also pulmonary fibrosis. His condition has been declining over the last
few weeks and after reading this, it has confirmed my greatest fears that
he could go any day now. I have been dreading this day for the last few
months and am very concerned how my two young children will take this. I am
hoping my dad will pass away in his sleep peacefully. He has been a
fantastic husband, dad and grandad, i am so glad i decided to get married
this year. I would recommend this website to anyone who is going through
the same as me. I feel at peace and can mentally prepare.
Aug 6, 2009 10:11 AM
Guest :
My father passed away yesterday after suffering from vascular dementia and
korsakoff's syndrome diagnosed 3 years ago. In his final weeks he looked
like a concentration camp victim. There was nothing left of a once very big
and strong man. We had to decide as a family for him what route to take as
he was terminal and we decided to not prolong his suffering anymore and
bring him back to the 20% he had been over the past 3 yrs. That was hard to
do. It is the hardest thing to watch happen. I was with him for the week up
to his final hour. I had experienced the process before with another close
family member, but it is never an experience you can forget and never
altogether the same. He had the glassy eyes, and changes you speak of, but
hung on until a family member came to take me for a walk. Whilst my brother
was staring out the window and I was on my walk, he slipped away. He was
strong and stubborn to the very end. I noticed that whenever I left the
room for any period of time, he deteriorated rapidly. I believe in the end
he could still hear everything and knew we were there for him. When we put
a lemon swab in his mouth to clean it, he bit down on it. He even had a few
tears roll down his cheeck at certain times. It was too terrible to see his
frail body shut down, but he was given liquid morphine for his pain. He
waited to see his family for the last time and even perked up and ate some
jelly two days before his death. From having very little in his system he
took in 700ml's of fluid - soup, water and ice cream. His strength of
spirit was amazing, but we were sad to see him hand on in distress for so
long. I believe he was waiting to see people who never came.
Aug 7, 2009 12:27 PM
Guest :
Thank you for this article. My aunt is transitioning from pancreatic
cancer. I saw her today and she is in a daze. I do not believe she knew who
I was. As much I am blessed to be with her and my family during this final
transition, I just do not want to see my once vibrant energetic aunt suffer
any more. I will continue to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean
not unto my own understanding...
Aug 19, 2009 4:14 PM
Guest :
my grandma is also in the last stages.the phsysical discription is right on
point. she has also given her wishes.she is the pillar that holds this huge
family up she often sees dead people from years ago and little beautiful
babies we dont question at all what she sees we beleive what she sees i
just wish i cud see we love her so much. she was the neiborhood mother for
over 50yrs
Sep 17, 2009 1:21 PM
Guest :
my daughter passed away on aug.29, just two and half weeks ago. She was a
parapalegic due to a car accident, and just in march was diagnosed with
aml. my heart is broken because i watched her beg for help and fight
so hard to stay. For 5 hours she begged me to help and there was nothing i
could do except hold her.she would hug me and then push me away.then throw
her arms around in the air. i did not see but one of the signs she was
passing and idid not realize it until she was gone.could someone explain
all this to me?
Sep 25, 2009 2:58 PM
Guest :
Mom died just a few weeks ago from lung cancer. 5 weeks from date of
diagnosis to death. When she would cough, there was a horrible smell from
the cancer--like rotten meat. She didn't eat during her final week. Her
legs would alternately get cold then warm. Her last day was a struggle to
breathe...gurgling sounds. The skin around her knees got grayish blue. The
nurse gave her morphine and she did not get agitated. Her breathing slowed
over the next 30 minutes. We sat with her, held her hands, kissed her, and
told her that it was OK to go. Not to be afraid. That we loved her. She
opened her eyes and did indeed seem to fixate on some object above that we
couldn't see. Her final breath was followed by several fish-like motions
with her mouth that we were told were reflex actions and common.
Sep 25, 2009 3:07 PM
Guest :
Mom died just a few weeks ago from lung cancer. 5 weeks from date of
diagnosis to death. When she would cough, there was a horrible smell from
the cancer--like rotten meat. She didn't eat during her final week. Her
legs would alternately get cold then warm. Her last day was a struggle to
breathe...gurgling sounds. The skin around her knees got grayish blue. The
nurse gave her morphine and she did not get agitated. Her breathing slowed
over the next 30 minutes. We sat with her, held her hands, kissed her, and
told her that it was OK to go. Not to be afraid. That we loved her. She
opened her eyes and did indeed seem to fixate on some object above that we
couldn't see. Her final breath was followed by several fish-like motions
with her mouth that we were told were reflex actions and common.
Oct 1, 2009 5:39 AM
Guest :
I wish I had found this site a month or so ago. I trawled the internet for
answers but found none when I needed them most. Mum was diagnosed with
advanced ovarian cancer 18 months ago.She always put others before herself,
right up to the end. About 12.50am on a Friday Mum was in so much pain
she asked to go into hospital, something she would never normally do, she
hated them.The ambulance took her in and we met her there. After she had
been in A & E a couple of hours she perked right up and was chatting
away, later she was moved to a ward and we went home. I went up with
My older sister to see her that afternoon visiting. Mum told us she had
signed a DNR, we were shocked but respected her wishes we knew something
just wasn't right. her face was a grey colour, her speach was slurred, her
BP and temperature had plummeted. She was also sicking something dark in
colour, it was definately neither food or drink. At the end of visiting I
kissed her lightly goodbye and whispered in her ear "don't you dare
give up". "I wont she said". My Dad visited in the
evening and she said to him "oooh its lovely, no pain", as they
had upped her morphine. I was worried and my younger sister stayed
overnight with her. She slept most of the time just waking for sips of
water. Although I was worried I didn't want to upset Mum by visiting
at a time I normally wouldn't. At afternoon visiting my Older sister,
brother and an Aunt went to see Mum. At 2.40pm I received a call telling
me to get straight to the hospital and pick up my Dad and younger sister up
on the way. We missed her passing by 3-4 minutes, she died at 3pm on 12th
Sep 2009. OH boy how I wish she could have held on just long enough for me
to say goodbye. It was unexpected and quick as the staff did not have time
to even move her to a side room. Her death certificate said the OC killed
her but 2 days later her last scan results came back showing very little
change. We were told her heart was in a bad way and it was almost
certainly that but to change the certificate meant an autopsy which we
refused. Mum was in such a state in those last few weeks, I'm glad she
told Dad she had no pain and she died with some family around her. I
can't imagine life without her, she was our rock, my Mum and Mum's are
invinsible aren't they? I asked if anyone would like to write a letter
to Mum,that she could take with her,she had loads & photos. I also had
a white dove released for her. I love you Mum and always will xxx
Oct 3, 2009 9:30 PM
Guest :
my name is arlene and my father is dying from lung cancer tuesday his dr.s
gave up on him and sent him home with 2-4 months to live i wish to thank
all of you so much for the information i feel more prepared to help him and
myself i have a brother and a sister but neither have helped or spoken to
him in years i am his only caregiver and we have put up one hell of a fight
over the last 6 months and we start another clinical trial monday it is to
late for us his dr.s said but he has not given up and neither will i the
cancer has spread to both lungs,abdomen,kidneys,liver and glands i see alot
of the dying symptoms i have read about on here but he is still so
optomistic and his belief in GODs healing hand is amazing to hear, stay
strong and believe in GODs purpose,and bless you all...by doing these
clinical trials we hope to help someone else so say a long prayer for my
daddy tonight he has done his part as so many others before him
Oct 19, 2009 8:01 AM
Guest :
My father died in July 2009, two years after diagnoses of kidney failure
and congestive heart failure. Even though he did not have cancer, the
information in this article is by far the best description of what actually
happened, system-by-system, with my dad when he passed away. The author has
used straightforward language and provided clear descriptions of exactly
what one might observe in a patient who is near death. It would be a
blessing for this important information to be made available in any
discussion related to end-of-life, regardless of the diagnosis. It is
comforting to read, even months afterward. Thank you so much.
