Suggestions on how to deal with the negative effects of a cancer diagnosis, and the trials and tribulations of treatment.
Why Cancer Sucks
You’ve likely read the reams of material available about how a positive attitude is key to fighting diseases like cancer. No question, the evidence is there to support this theory, and in general it is to your benefit to keep the good vibes flowing in the face of adversity.
There are times, however, when the sheer reality of having cancer can get the best of even the strongest patient. Rather than beating yourself up over a small dose of negativity, ride the feelings out, acknowledge them, and they will fade into the background soon enough.
Having cancer sucks. The fear of what may lay ahead, the waiting for tests, diagnoses, results, and the impact that it can have on your family and friends takes a toll. It is scary to be running, not walking, into the unknown, and the sheer lack of control over the circumstances can be debilitating.
If you are newly diagnosed, you may have a whole slew of cancer-related joys to look forward to – surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, drug therapy and more. One theory about how to cope suggests acknowledging the worst of what could happen, speculating that you will be pleasantly surprised when it turns out to really not be all that bad. The levels of “sucky-ness” in cancer treatment run from the relative ease of surgery to the uber-crappiness of chemotherapy.
Surgery is likely the easiest part of cancer treatment. It is usually on soft tissue (tissue heals much quicker than bone), and recovery time is generally quick. It may lay you out for a short time, and make you feel more like a couch potato than you ever have in your life, but it is a relatively short trip from surgery to full recovery. The biggest key to breezing through surgery is to be in decent shape going in, and to make a concerted effort to be as active as possible after the operation itself. Lying in bed only makes things more difficult.
It is no small secret that chemotherapy is the worst part of cancer treatment. The cocktail of toxic drugs they shoot into you can take a toll on even the healthiest person, and the side-effects run the gamut – from exhaustion, to nausea, to mouth sores, and a list of other not-so-nice things. It is hard to keep a brave face when you are getting sick and losing your hair. This may be the time when you feel the most down about the whole situation…but keep the faith, these things too will pass. Again, trying to go about things as routinely as possible, and staying fit and active, will help you get through it.
Don’t be afraid to shout out “having cancer sucks!” It does. It’s ok to get riled up about the sickeningly positive rants of cancer-fighting celebrities, postulating self-help books, and overly cheery friends and family. This is not a Hallmark moment, and wallowing in some self-pity is allowed. Make rules about how long you will stay in “negative-mode”. Make plans for alone time and reflection. Embrace the moments of frustration and feeling bad, and use them to let out some of the anger and sadness that are perfectly normal. You can be a hero and experience pain – it’s completely expected and acceptable.
In these moments, it is productive to channel the spirit of the curmudgeonly old man who complains about everything. These are the grumps who live forever and thrive on making themselves and other people miserable. Don’t strive to make this a permanent state of being, but use it for temporary relief in a desperate situation.
Yes, you do have permission to be an ass, throw things, scream, shut the world out, and cry. Cancer sucks, but beating it is ultimately the reward for all the pain.
